Outlandish Manifesto
Empty-Headed News is:
Hard-hitting journalism in the realms where your everyday “truth” spewing newspapers are afraid to go. Started in the dark and seedy underword back in the year 1992, it has laid dormant (though occasionally eating) until now. For the time of unjust reporting and the truth beyond the truth is needed to awaken the sleeping sleepers that have rested unconcious for far too long! We must seek out new news so that the same old news that is printed everyday can be seen as the dull informative poppycock that it is. We must raise banners in hues of lemon yellow marching the streets one-by-one shouting that twice is not enough! Demand, readers, demand your hunk of brie when shopping and know that EHN in no way stands by your actions but takes comfort in the fact that you make us laugh.
* Believe nothing
* Accept everything
* Challenge the system
* Conform in your sense of the style when it comes to buying pants
* Remember when most people tell you something, if it was told to you backwards, it would be gibberish
* Love the one you’re with
* Do not repeat yourself
* Accept everything
* Strut in a gnarly kung-fu style when walking
* Craft your own outlandish manifesto, follow none of it but demand everyone else does
* <insert your own gibberish here>
* Do not pass go
* Expect new news when available.
You mean I spent all those years as a journalist, with the hope of one day getting a job at EHN upon its return, and as soon as I jump ship into PR, EHN makes its glorious return. Oh, me of little faith.
And “you’re,” not “your.”
You’re insane, and that’s why I love you